One of my memories of Peggy is a slightly chubby high school girl with shiny, long red hair. When called upon in class, she answered questions with wide eyes and a quiet, faltering voice. Though incredibly smart, she seemed unsure of her place in the world. She wore sweaters over her clothes to hide the shape of her body. Peggy rarely smiled or initiated conversations. Certain boys in class always sat next to her if they could, not because they liked her, but because they wanted to cop her answers when taking tests.

At the beginning of our senior year, a very different Peggy showed up. Her hair was even more beautiful, sharply dressed and thinner, she not only smiled—revealing perfectly straight teeth— she spoke effortlessly with a confidence rarely seen at that age.

It was rumored over the summer that she had modeled in New York. I never learned if that was true, but Peggy was done being a pushover. She told the boys peeking at her test answers to keep their eyes on their own papers.

Peggy is one of my earliest memories of what I call a “broadcast shift.” She’d discovered her purpose and value resulting in new perception of herself.

Whatever you believe about yourself is reflected in your body language, your voice and unseen vibration. I recall a time that I and several wives had been asked to speak at a particular event of about a hundred people. Though nervous, once I started speaking, all those feelings left.

The next woman stepped up to the podium, eyes wide, hands shaking uncontrollably. of speaking. Then she began to weep and froze. This is an extreme example of broadcasting. Everyone in the room knew she was terrified and had no confidence in herself. The lead wife went up and spoke to her, made apologies to the group, and the two of them left the stage together.

These are two examples among millions of how we transmit ourselves, and how we can pick up on what others broadcast. Look around you at the store, at your job, when you’re standing in line somewhere. What do you perceive about certain people? You can tell who the busy people are, the ones who aren’t in a rush, the ones who love life and the ones who are unhappy. If you pay close attention, their actions and demeanor tell you more. You “pick up” on who’s helpful, who’s friendly and who you can strike up a conversation with.

What’s Your Signal?

What do people close to you, feel from you? If you’re getting negative feedback, decide how you want to be seen. Learn from people who exhibit the traits you desire. Just because “that’s the way we are” doesn’t mean we have to stay stuck there.

When I was younger, I moved from a small town to a bigger city, to get a job. Inside I was very intimidated. I thought my coworkers had it all together and would be able to tell I didn’t. I imagined they would hold it against me or try to take advantage of me. Had I gone in with that in mind, that could have happened. Instead, I thought of the bravest person I knew. Alicia was funny, courageous, always smiling, and knew how to do her job. She was friendly and confident and that’s what I wanted to be. I went to work and pretended to be like Alicia. I did what I thought she would do. I later learned that the girls thought I had come from a tougher city and had been intimidated by me! But they soon realize that I was friendly under that facade.

I then realized then the power of mindset, and how close I came to having it backfire. First impressions are hard to erase. As a result, some of the girls I worked with never warmed up to me because of my act. Since then, I’ve learned it’s better to be authentic.

It’s possible to adopt new behaviors and change the characteristics we don’t like about ourselves, just like Peggy did. We grow in confidence by challenging ourselves and learning who we are. When we change our broadcast, the people who no longer resonate with the old behavior will move on, replaced with new likeminded people.

Have you ever wanted to change something about yourself? What was your motivation? How did it turn out? Please share your comments, and I look forward to seeing you again soon.