It’s been two years since I signed up with Women for Sobriety New Life Program. I’d been sober for about six years by then, but one morning I suddenly felt “at risk.”

I’d tried AA several years before. As one who understands the profound and lasting effect of words, I could not embrace the hypnotic “I’m an alcoholic” mantra every week or even hear it uttered from others in the meeting. Despite knowing that it has worked for millions, I disagreed with verbally reinforcing a title I wanted distance from. I didn’t understand how keeping it front and center—reminding oneself of their failing—was supposed to bring about change. Although those meetings didn’t work for me, I did take some of their literature which was extremely insightful.

Two years ago I felt like something was sneaking up on me and I didn’t want to get caught out. How I ended up looking for a sobriety group that particular morning I don’t recall, but the sense of urgency was palpable. Nothing in the search results resonated until I saw WFS.

It was started by a highly educated, extremely high-functioning female alcoholic, and dealt with the issue that I was well acquainted with: shame. They didn’t recite past behaviors in present tense—a huge plus.

Not only that, their Acceptance statements aligned perfectly with my encouragement and realistic positivity track.

1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me. I now take charge of my life and my wellbeing. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself. My first conscious act is to reduce negativity in my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I am developing. Happiness is created not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit. I now understand my problems. I do not permit my problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think. I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great. Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world. Caring is all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth. Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever. No longer am I victimized by the past. I am a new woman.
10. All love given returns. I am learning to know that I am loved.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise. I treasure the moments of my New Life.
12. I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life. This is what I am, and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions. I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life

I ordered their newcomer package that day. Two years later, I still return to the reading materials, and drop into a meeting when I need a mental reset.

In the past eight years, I’ve had two slips and was able to get back on track the very next day. I attribute that to the very forgiving, understanding online forums, and a multitude of supportive community groups for just about every stripe of woman.

I was pleasantly surprised by how kindhearted, gracious, articulate and transparent these women have been about their own personal struggles. They are very much realists. They write about facing what their addictions have done to themselves, their relationships, and their jobs.

The stories they share are sometimes brutal, but also amazing, beautiful, encouraging and often inspiring. I appreciate their creative self-care, and their attention to potential pitfalls while traveling. During high-risk times (family gatherings, holidays etc.) it’s beneficial to nurture sobriety with the daily pledge, and consistent check-ins. My slips were the result of failing to do those things.

The level at which you are involved and accountable is the responsibility of each woman. This isn’t high school, and they won’t come and track you down like truant officers if you miss meetings. Every person makes their own way, creates their friendships and develops trust by consistently showing up. Sobriety, like life, is a full participation sport. But it’s much more fun when shared by like-minded people.

The last several years have not been kind to many of us. Life is hard enough without anti-pink agendas and the downgrading of our value and importance. Each of us has probably experienced enough shame for several lifetimes. If, like me, you were or are struggling with some substance addiction, trying to dull the pain of some incredibly damaging life decisions (done to me and by me) maybe just dipping your toe in this group can help you get free and rise to a higher mental place.

I look forward to your comments. Until next time!