Someone asked me, “How do you make the switch from a negative mindset to a positive one?” I started with a simple process: awareness, reflection & rephrasing. I grew up emulating my parent’s attitudes, beliefs, and words. It’s what we know, what’s comfortable because it’s familiar, even if it isn’t the best for us. Parroting words we’ve heard all our lives requires no examination on our part. Almost everyone begins life this way.

If you’re fortunate, one day someone comes along and jars you out of your comfy, autopilot zone. They challenge you to examine what you’re saying, what you think and believe. As you become aware of your words, you notice things that trigger reactions. You may notice the impact of your words on others.

Its most visible on a child who hasn’t learned to guard themselves. They appear smiling and hopeful and bright eyed. When negative words hit them like a punch, they wilt, cry, or turn away. Negative words  crush, hurt, undermine, steal, kill, and destroy. Partnered with antagonism and sarcasm they’re even more toxic. Words like that don’t make things better. Negative words reveal the heart.

A Well-Timed Life Changer

In my 20s, someone literally handed me the instruction book on how to be positive. That’s when I became aware of the words coming out of my mouth and how depressed I’d been feeling. I committed to change my polarity. It didn’t happen overnight but journeys seldom do. You begin one step at a time. You become aware of what you’re saying and weigh them, you reflect on them. Where did that come from? Is that how I really feel? Did I need to say that?

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” ~Proverbs 18:21

I once heard a story about a woman who noticed her own negative utterings. She decided for a week, that if she couldn’t say anything nice, she wouldn’t speak. She had a husband and a family and didn’t tell anyone her plan. She passed an entire week in silence.
No one noticed. This exercise led her to make drastic changes.

We’ve all heard these words, haven’t we? “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?” What if we take those words to heart?  We don’t have the right to hurt, discourage or destroy people with our words. 

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” ~Proverbs 12:18

If you can find a group of positive minded people, ask them to (gently) help you. You can break a bad habit and learn to reframe your thoughts. Consider the benefits. Which sounds better? “You will never amount to anything!” Or, “You’re a work in progress!” You are a work in progress. Make that the first part of your journey. Along the way, you might notice how many people use their words.

Staying the Course

The road to becoming a positive-minded road is not a bullet-proof vest, without its trials and tears. But you’ll find you’re more resilient, healthier, and more joyfully. You’ll notice gratitude and smiling have become part of the package. When you experience a setback, it’s easier to recover. As you progress, you’ll discover living with a positive mindset is a sunnier path, with brighter skies and sweeter music, a longer, more interesting road revealing more opportunities. You’ll find more interesting, joyful people willing to journey with you even if it’s only for a season. Joyful people have more friends.

One day, you’ll look back. This can be a defining day for you. Your future years can be the happiest of your whole life. You can become a source for encouragement in realm filled with hurting people. And to light the load of even one, is changing the world.

What significant changes are you considering? Comment below, I’d love to hear about them.