Since I’ve actively begun rooting out fears and staring them down, I’ve learned I’m not alone in this endeavor. As much as we desire to be fearless, it seems many of us battle with some fear. Speaking in public, catching a deadly illness, or meeting new people are just a few.

Those things that make your heart race challenges you to explore new territory. Maybe, like me, you want to enter a new situation fully capable of handling it well or at least appearing to. Once the situation is underway, the fear dissolves. When it’s over, the rush of empowerment can be intoxicating!

After lockdowns, I invited a friend to join me on a first public jaunt. We were attending our first major networking event of the year. These things are less intimidating if you know at least one person in the room. After attending many events in recent years, I expected to run into more than a few friendly faces.

Although walking into a room still makes my heart pound, I rely on positive self-talk and psyche-ups: Some of my friends will be there! Fear and excitement feel the same—I’m just excited!

I focus on the benefits of attending the event. #1: I’ll get a network number boost just by being there. Benefit #2: I will meet at least one more new person.

To make sure I didn’t chicken out, I bought the ticket, told the event holder, and a relative. I locked it in by connecting with someone prior to the event whom I truly wanted to meet. “I’ll look for you there!”

Within a minute I met a friendly face and began recognizing people I knew. As expected, this event wasn’t nearly as scary as the very first one of last year. After introducing my daughter, she held her own and met her own amazing people. The motivating benefit was: Shared experience with a budding entrepreneur (my daughter) and provide a positive networking experience for her. Additional bonus benefits: Meeting the new person in real life (contact was utterly delightful!) Nudge up the needle of network contacts (90+!) and of those new contacts, I will enjoy lunch or a cup of coffee with a number of interesting people. In retrospect, I had really looked forward to the event and succeeded in my goal. Now it’s time to move down the list and find another fear to face head-on.

What does this mean for you?

Maybe your list of nerve-rattling, fear-inducing things is short or even non-existent. I admire people who can face their fears head-on and don’t let anything shake them or prevent them from living life to the fullest.

Does your list have more than one or two items on it that limit your life? Most everyone I know has at least one–if not half a dozen things–that truly frighten them. Things that will limit them in some significant way until they face that fear head-on. In fact, by not facing my fear of getting on the freeway, I had given it free reign.

It took me twice as long to get anywhere because of taking the back ways. That might work locally, but what if I need to go a longer distance to see a relative? That’s what happened. One spring, I wanted to go on a road trip. That desire was greater than the fear holding me captive. I drove over 600 miles to visit my sister three states away. It was cathartic!

If you want every other fear to pale in comparison, you could start with the scariest item on your list. But if you want to start small and build on each victory, that’s fine too. Each one increases your courage and confidence to accomplish bigger feats.  I mix them up, a big scary and go to one that’s less so. Whatever works for you is the perfect way to go about it. The goal is to challenge yourself and become a fear-busting machine. Having a multi-pronged approach helped me overcome one after the other. Here’s what I did:

• Name the fear and what you’re willing to do to face it.
• Write out how your life with this fear is more painful than it will be to face the fear.
• How will your life improve?
• What is the single motivating benefit?
• What are the bonus benefits?
• Who can be your cheerleaders?
• Who will you tell and be accountable to?
• Do it afraid!
• Celebrate!

When you face your fears, your life opens in unexpected ways. I didn’t know that by braving the freeway, I’d eventually drive to other states without getting lost. But one conquered was a steppingstone to a brave new life filled with adventure, exciting experiences and opportunities. each with a ripple effect. Since beginning this journey I’ve overcome traveling alone, by air and by car, driving fearlessly on freeways, speaking in front of groups, and launching my own business.

What’s on your list?