I have been at the end of myself more times than I care to admit. And, in talking with a friend last night, you’d think that someone who got as beat up by life as I did, would have given up by now.

But, I’m not a quitter. I don’t even know what that would look like. Even through the loss of a very close family member, through job changes, and a myriad of other unexpected setbacks, the strength comes fresh every day to keep plowing ahead.

How?

I believe in a greater, more powerful being than myself. The things that happen in my life aren’t random, they drive me to a point. They shape my destiny. When I run into a wall, I can redirect, or try to break through it. Isn’t that what’s going on with a baby chick inside the egg shell? If they don’t give up, they eventually break through the wall.

On the other side is a new life. It seems like every time at just the moment that “I can’t do this anymore” a tailormade blessing pops up.

It’s like going on a 100-mile run alone. Just when you reach the 55-mile marker and think you’re spent, a person holding a water-bottle and a team of encouragers appear to say, “Keep going! You’re almost there!” Those kinds of events help you find a second (third, or fourth) wind. Refreshed, you keep moving forward to the goal.

Choosing to keep going is within your control. Our self-talk and attitude are critical in those moments. You are much stronger than you think you are. It’s easy to pick out who believes that.

Instead of curling up into a ball and giving up, they ask, “What if I went just a little bit further than I think I can right now? Can I push the limit just a little bit more? One more set in my work out? One more chapter in my book?” They just start and go as long as they can. What beyond that next bend in the road? What’s behind the door that is open just a crack?

These are not low-hanging branches and the fruit in the harder to reach realm is amazingly sweet. It makes the effort worthwhile. It strengthens you to rise to more challenges and go farther.

What does this mean for you?

I recognize that this is not always possible. And when it isn’t, I don’t beat myself (too much) about it and neither should you. Circumstances can absolutely knock the wind out of you. When it does, you need time to regroup. You might need to tap friends or family or other resources to get back on your feet. It happens to all of us. I was blessed to have two women reach out to me who’d each lost a husband, one twenty years ago, the other ten. A woman who lost her son prematurely to suicide also reached out. They warmed my heart and blessed me with their kind words and encouragement.

I acknowledge my setbacks, seek the lesson in them. It’s been rewarding to do so. In spite of how bleak, or dire circumstances appear, there has always been an opportunity for growth. And, it practically guarantees that I will meet another person who will benefit from the knowledge I’ve gained through such experiences. Even if only to be the living proof that such things can be survived.

What did you learn from your most painful experience?