August two years ago, I mentioned that I wanted to go to the beach. Within a few days, a girlfriend invited me to go with her and her family. My mind ran wild with joy as I packed a suitcase. She called back later apologetic, and withdrew the invitation, promising we’d have a girl’s trip in the new year.

I ached to get to the beach. Any beach. Somehow, some way. Meanwhile, my husband picked up director gigs for plays, and became severely ill. I took classes and ran my business. Secretly, I imagined taking a quick flight alone to Florida–even the Carolinas–just a day trip to a beach. Because I worried about him and couldn’t go that far. Taking him complicated the whole trip. So it fell off my calendar entirely.

The ache grew.

I ‘m not one for laying on the beach. But walking it? You bet. Looking for shells? My goodness, why go if you can’t pick up a few sea bones. They’re the best souvenirs.

In December, my husband was admitted to ICU. Four days later, right before Hanukkah, my he passed away peacefully. I knew I needed to sit with this and really reflect. When was I ever going to the beach…?

Before I gathered my wherewithal, the plandemic hit. For the next five months, I worked with clients on Zoom, mostly in isolation like the rest of the whole earth. Grateful for the work, I threw myself into those projects six days a week. I had set aside one day a week to grieve: Shabbat.

By the time I completed one client’s book, four and a half months had passed. Pushing “send” the manuscript was delivered. While they read the final draft, I had a two-week window of free time. A little voice said, “Now you can go to the beach.” What?

I reminded the voice that we were in the middle of a global shut down and every place was closed. “Do you trust me?” Trust. Here we go again. I don’t want to go alone. Who can go with me at the drop of a hat? People are afraid to travel to the grocery let alone cross state lines.

But the voice heard my thoughts.

“Text your sister.”

Historically, planning with someone as complex and busy as my sister seemed counter-intuitive. I did it anyway. And when much of the day went by without a reply, I began thinking that I had imagined the whole thing. That it was a reckless idea. Insane. I even prayed for YeHoVaH to take the desire away. That if traveling to the beach wasn’t His idea, then I didn’t want to feel the burning need to go.

The next morning, my sister texted. Her husband was searching beach houses in the Carolinas, and a hotel on the way. And when did I want to leave?

What does this mean for you?

Maybe you don’t remember my sharing that I wanted to go to the beach. Check the link below to see the post. The point is, that just because we have a dream, doesn’t mean it comes to pass as quickly as we’d like. During the wait, I entertained going to beaches in Israel, Australia and South Africa. I mean, a beach dream is limitless. Even though none of those had yet worked out, it didn’t diminish my desire to go to a beach. I had to wait on timing.

In the middle of launching a business isn’t the time. Neither is it when your spouse is in an active health crises. But when the timing is right, and YHVH is in it, it all lines up. Even if you call a house sitter at the last minute.

The time away was deeply refreshing. Salt water and sand was just what I needed. It was exactly where I was supposed to be, and exactly the right person for that moment. When I returned with a bag full of shells, sand still clinging to my flip-flops, I felt regenerated. Reinvigorated. Mission accomplished!

Hey, I realize I needed a new dream! You know…. I’ve always wanted to go to California…

_{To see the post from two years ago click here.}